PART 2: Back to Vancouver - surviving with a goal in mind.

Vancouver, Canada - April 12, 2010

It has been some time since I updated the blog. It's already April, and time to get back to it.
I have been away from Poland, where I grew up, for many years now. I don't really know what exactly is going on there, and whatever is does not affect me directly. Still, the plane crash on the 10th of April, in which the Polish President, his wife and so many other people from the Polish government died, had an impact on me. It's a tragedy to have so many people dead, and the fact that most of them were top government members, makes it feel like there was a mountain and it suddenly lost it's tip. What a coincidence with where they were going to - the place where thousands of Polish elite were killed 70 years ago. Weird, bizarre...
March was not a good month. I haven't accomplished much, and just a couple of posts I have done prove it.
Many times in my life I have told people that what I have done or do, as much as they don't agree with it, I do it because you just never know when your life might end. The risk factor will always be present in life if you want to accomplish something different. There is of course a difference between being brave and stupid, but the boundaries of science, arts, and all humanity have been always pushed by extreme measures. Extreme formed our Universe and the Earth is being shaped by it we want it or not. But getting to the point, for all those people on that plane is too late now to follow their dreams, too late to have regrets if they haven't done that in the past. It is difficult to stay on the course of what you want at the same pace forever, but this event made me a bit guilty for not using up my time more efficiently. I still do have that time, so I should use it with more gratitude.
There is no coincidence in creative minds drifting away from the practicality of solutions in this society. A creative mind wanders. Thoughtful people question things, test and try to see the world from a different angle. Drifting away from the main stream requires a lot of bravery. With all the different characters and personalities we have, different circumstances we experience, not everything is the same or as easy as it might seem for the next person. Actually, on many levels I think we are so different that most people don't understand each other at first beyond the common and obvious, connected to the bottom line where our social nature comes from. The rest is like bouncing around ping-pong balls trying to avoid or hit each other.
I usually say that my periods of inactivity are just me 'recharging the batteries'. And they are, it is true to a certain extend. I need that - that's how I work. I can't be someone always busy, and all those people who are either manic or lying in my opinion. Our minds and souls work in a very similar way to our bodies, and we can sweat at a gym only for so long. They are invisible, therefore taken easily for granted. We all need a break, if we don't want to get broken.
Most realizations come as a spark of understanding at the end of a process of thought and feeling, practice of absence of it and focusing it in a certain direction. That spark has to be ignited, inspired. It is good when the spark creates a fire which keeps on burning, a passion. As a human with the usual tendencies to become lazy, there is always use of a good reminder, something that will work on the imagination and put it back to work. So, being the wise guy who talks about living your life without regrets because it might just end any time, this unfortunate incident over Russia was a reminder for me to waste less time because you just don't know how much there is left.
It is very difficult to practice being disciplined but relaxed yet relaxed and disciplined at the same time. It sounds almost like being in two places at the same time. But this is the way, and a part of keeping it up is keeping the perspective, letting in the hints and keeping a sense of humor.
My condolences to the families and friends of all the dead people on board of the Polish plane. I really hope something good will come out of this tragedy. I was glad to read about the feelings of unity amongst Poles in this moment. I hope they will use it as an inspiration in making things better for themselves and for the country. Poland has always united in bad times, and Poles are no strangers to the concept of surviving the worst times and keeping their spirits up. Our own planes of life will crash one day, sooner or later, so why to waste so much till this happens ? If anything good comes out of this for me, on a personal level, I simply want to be better at what I am doing, and live my dreams and life to the fullest. There is so much to do, experience and see, an the time is now.

My life has always been about freedom and I shall continue to walk this path.
Safe travels ! ........... Stan


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April:  11  10-3  10-2  10-1 
January:  15  06-11  06-10  06-9  06-8  06-7  06-6  06-5  06-4  06-3  06-2  06-1  05  03-6  03-5  03-4  03-3  03-2  03-1  02 
December:  29  23-28  22-2  22-1  20-2  20-1  19  18-2  18-1 
November:  01-4  01-3  01-2  01-1 
October:  31  23  22  20  17  11  09-2  09-1  08  02  01-6  01-5  01-4  01-3  01-2  01-1 
September:  29  28  27  25-2  25-1  20-24  23  18  13  12  11-3  11-2  11-1  10-2  10-1  7  4  3-2  3-1  2 
August:  31  30  29  28  27  26  25  24  21-22  20  18  17  16  15  14  13  12  10-11-1  9  6  5  3  2  1 
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June:  30  24 
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March:  7  2 
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April:  11  10-3  10-2  10-1 
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